008 (Bruno)
Born in Middle England (where else?) Although you think that Rottweilers should come from some God-forsaken background, such as Birmingham or something, he's actually quite ooh-aah posh "I say!' perfectly British thank you very much! The Guy just simply craves Tea with two sugars, won't even touch coffee, and will place a gun to your head if you even criticise Sweeney Todd.
But the most addictive and warped craving he ever has is his much beloved James Bond Collection (including the crappy ones!) The adventures and antics of '007' (preferably Shaun Connery) is a strong loved passion for him, almost a religion, in his lifestyle and hobbies.(no other Bond fan has ever been that devoted and for that matter more scarier than him) In fact he loves James Bond so much he dresses himself up in a Tuxedo complete with dangerous and fatal gadgets and insists his wife dresses up as some damsel in distress Bimbo. (the type that walks dumb-founded in jungles wondering where their next make-up parlour is, you know the sort) And so his much loving and devoted wife Shirley plays by his rules (thank God she's so tolerant and open-minded in role-playing about this fetish) and becomes both his spouse and the Bird from the films, so sex never gets old in this marriage!
But the most addictive and warped craving he ever has is his much beloved James Bond Collection (including the crappy ones!) The adventures and antics of '007' (preferably Shaun Connery) is a strong loved passion for him, almost a religion, in his lifestyle and hobbies.(no other Bond fan has ever been that devoted and for that matter more scarier than him) In fact he loves James Bond so much he dresses himself up in a Tuxedo complete with dangerous and fatal gadgets and insists his wife dresses up as some damsel in distress Bimbo. (the type that walks dumb-founded in jungles wondering where their next make-up parlour is, you know the sort) And so his much loving and devoted wife Shirley plays by his rules (thank God she's so tolerant and open-minded in role-playing about this fetish) and becomes both his spouse and the Bird from the films, so sex never gets old in this marriage! As far as he's concerned, absolutely anything can be solved with a big explosion at the end, and elderly people with cats kill off their daughter in laws by pressing a button and watching them fall in a fiery pit under the carpet. Many decent people never question his motives and results in fear that they'll get poisoned drinking wine, (psychiatrists on the other hand would happily question whether or not his future would lie in Detention Block B of the Incurably Insane Ward) so he's allowed to roam the rest of the world foiling plots and killing off unacceptably large crowds of people all in the name of the Queen Mother. In the end MI6 was so impressed by his warped dogma of being a decent British Spy that they hired him. (hey, the Police force use aggressive officers rather than reasonable people and the Government uses idiotic buffoons rather than learned politicians so when MI6 wants to hire someone, do they accept the high qualified men for the job, no! They hire Bruno) He eventually landed a place in the Council of 9 on account of the fact that they need a dog like him to do the successful missions never for once fearing that he might die or fail because, hey, in the Movies, James Bond always wins and what he does is always right!
Favourite Line: "Honey, I'm going to go out today and blow up the Chinese Embassy for Queen and Country."
"That's okay Dear, just make sure you get some waffles and cake mix on the way back home."
Favourite Line: "Honey, I'm going to go out today and blow up the Chinese Embassy for Queen and Country."
"That's okay Dear, just make sure you get some waffles and cake mix on the way back home."
His Wife, Shirley!
These two, Shirley and her husband are seen almost together all of the time. (not surprisingly because they're married!) Although she's not a Council of 9 member, she likes to think they're the perfect team, doing the dirty jobs together, (anniversary nights on shark infested oceans with sinking Cruise liners are a particular favourite) Driving ultra fast glamorous cars and snogging together in hot passionate sex. (she turns the other cheek quite happily when he starts humping other bitches because she knows quite well that in the world of James Bond, it's business as usual and besides, she loves group orgies)
Shirley herself is not British, rather she lives on the other side of the pond somewhere in California and when they first met, it was love at first sight and 008 was convinced she was one who would role play the bond babes. Shirley's wardrobe collection never looked more Hollywood. (she was born to wear those sparkling dresses, even for a Rottweiler she looked so sleek!) But unlike most 'Birds' from the old movies, Shirley is one damn useful Bond Heroine, preferring to operate dangerous flying machinery, shooting heat seeking missiles from her dangerous bazookas (this is NOT a pun), and ripping her enemies apart like all good Rottweilers. (Hey, she finds it romantic, she's a hopeless lover, what can you expect!) But she still finds time to pay the bills, babysitting the neighbours brats and bake some cookies.
